Blog, Consent, Kink, Mental Health, Non-Monogamy

No Expectations

I’ve seen the phrase “no expectations” used a lot in the context of relationships: everything from “We have no expectations of each other; we hang out when it feels good to and don’t when it doesn’t.” to “So-and-so keeps saying there are no expectations of our time together, but I don’t know what that means.”… Continue reading No Expectations

Kink, Power, Pain, and D/s

Submission and Suffering With Intention

Tonight, I decided it’d be a great night to put in a butt plug and do some writing. I’ve had a myriad of thoughts that I wanted to put down, and I haven’t worn my plug in awhile, and I drank a cup of cold brew, so why not? So I hopped in the shower… Continue reading Submission and Suffering With Intention

Blog, Kink, Mental Health, Non-Monogamy

Scarcity and Dehydration

Scarcity mentality is an interesting thing. On one hand, it’s been the thing that pushed me to do things I might not have otherwise done, the idea that, “this could be the last time I have the chance to…” or “if I died tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?” The idea of limits and… Continue reading Scarcity and Dehydration

Blog, Kink

Getting What You Ask For (Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Getting What You Need)

For anyone that knows me, I am notoriously terrible at asking for the things that I want or need from other people. I’m so bad at it, people have created whole scenes for the express purpose of getting me to communicate desires. Part of the reason for this is because I am also notoriously terrible at knowingwhat I… Continue reading Getting What You Ask For (Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Getting What You Need)

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Fragments

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the beauty of people around me. I mean, sure. Aesthetically pleasing. But this, this is a different kind of beauty. The beauty of shadows and light. Complex expressions on the edge of sight. The way he bends. The way she turns her head. The way they smile, sleepily, curled up… Continue reading Fragments

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Sex and Intimacy

Sex and intimacy have never been directly linked for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely find intimacy in sex, particularly with people that I feel very strongly connected to. But I have never needed sex to feel intimate and close with someone. As much of a sexual person as I am, sex has always felt… Continue reading Sex and Intimacy

Blog, Kink, Queerness

The End is Queer

I’ve been on a bit of a queer rampage again lately: telling stories, sharing histories. Explaining why I have such strong feelings about the term “partner.” Trying to explain that I feel a little like I’m navigating a foreign landscape because really, this whole year has been an adventure in renegotiating my relationship with my own queerness,… Continue reading The End is Queer