Blog, Mental Health, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

How To Be Dead

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here. I've got some updating to do, but I needed a place to put this, so...lots of raw spewing of emotion, verbal vomit processing, shit that I need to get out of my bloodstream and didn’t have anywhere else to put it. So it’s going here. Listening to… Continue reading How To Be Dead

Blog, Kink, Queerness

Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope

There is a lot of discussion about representation in rope. To be honest, there has always been a lot of discussion among those who aren’t often represented in rope about it, but now it’s hit the mainstream conversation. And I think that’s great! I actually do. I want to see more men in rope. I… Continue reading Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

Reconfiguring “Partner”

I don’t take language lightly. For all its flaws and limitations, the ways that we describe and name the things that matter to us is important. We will always miss the mark, at least a little. What you hear and what I say are not always the same thing. It’s the risk we take with… Continue reading Reconfiguring “Partner”

Blog, Consent, Kink, Queerness

Better Standards

Maybe we all need to be held to better standards. All of us. Spoiler note: it is exhausting. And sometimes requires that we step away to focus. And it never ends. We get into this world, bright-eyed, excited, finally feeling like we have found our people, found where we belong. Some of us, anyway. I’m… Continue reading Better Standards

Blog, Kink, Queerness

The End is Queer

I’ve been on a bit of a queer rampage again lately: telling stories, sharing histories. Explaining why I have such strong feelings about the term “partner.” Trying to explain that I feel a little like I’m navigating a foreign landscape because really, this whole year has been an adventure in renegotiating my relationship with my own queerness,… Continue reading The End is Queer

Blog, Queerness

Forging for Breath

Actually, if you could point me towards any of your preexisting writings that talk about...why you choose to wear/dress the way you do, the reality of those choices, and feelings associated with being read in the world. A dear friend asked me this yesterday, and I realized that I have never written about these things… Continue reading Forging for Breath

Blog, Creative Non-Fiction, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness


“I love you, too,” she said, because she speaks the language of my eyes and I sink into the words like a blanket of moss beneath my hands. Soft. Certain. Steady. It might have been the first time, or the fiftieth, or that time where we have lost track of the number of times we… Continue reading Yes

Blog, Erotica, Kink, Queerness

Boys in Suits

I like the thought of you wanting me like this, dressed up in a suit and tie and my chest flattened down and a silicone cock making a soft bulge in these well-ironed pants. I like thinking about your face, straightening my tie before we go with that hint of a smirk playing at the… Continue reading Boys in Suits

Blog, Kink, Queerness

Out Of Context

I've been struggling with context lately, although I haven't had those words, exactly. I keep having these moments of panic, and trying to explain why, and people around me being very perplexed because the thing that I’m panicking about is, apparently, a normal thing. I realize that, in the context of my life, certain experiences… Continue reading Out Of Context

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

On Fluid Bonding

My partner and I recently changed our safer sex/barrier practices which, of course, brings up the conversation of fluid bonding and what that means in the context of our relationship. It's been a conversation flitting around the periphery of my experience lately because I've been sleeping with (and having more conversations with) people who are… Continue reading On Fluid Bonding