I never know where to start with camp, perhaps this one more than most. There was just so much. Vast arrays of feelings, complicated and nuanced discussions, painfully vulnerable moments and disarmingly present ones. Threads. So many threads weaving in and out and around this space and me and rapid-speed processing through each piece. Balance and counterbalance,… Continue reading Sinking in to Discomfort
Tag: vulnerability
But I Can Just Do It Myself…
I’ve been playing around with photography again for the first time in years. It feels good to pick my camera back up and, even if I’m rusty as hell, it’s coming back (and let’s face it, I only ever half-knew what I was doing anyway). So, it’s part remembering and part learning. I got back… Continue reading But I Can Just Do It Myself…
Feels and Fears on Anal Sex
I was joking with a friend about how, if I wanted to write something truly vulnerable and terrifying, I would write about my feels and fears around anal sex. And then I thought about it more, and figured, eh, what the hell. It’s probably good to get them all out into one place anyway. K,… Continue reading Feels and Fears on Anal Sex
Small Gratitudes
I woke to a sense of golden peace, the deep, permeating kind that resonates in my bones. I’ve been thinking about gratitude lately- not just in the Thanksgiving sense, but in the sense of my life as a whole. A recent example: a sweetheart of mine texts me goodnight most nights, long after I’m already… Continue reading Small Gratitudes
Yes
“I love you, too,” she said, because she speaks the language of my eyes and I sink into the words like a blanket of moss beneath my hands. Soft. Certain. Steady. It might have been the first time, or the fiftieth, or that time where we have lost track of the number of times we… Continue reading Yes
When Your Greatest Strengths Become Your Biggest Crutch
Someday, I will write out the full story of the past six months because, while it has been told in bits and pieces, there is still so much I held so close to my chest. It’s an old defense mechanism, a tactic to keep from getting hurt when everything inevitably falls apart (because everything does;… Continue reading When Your Greatest Strengths Become Your Biggest Crutch
Want With Feeling
Sometimes, I just write stream of consciousness while chain smoking in my car. If you only allow yourself to want what you already have, there is no risk. No vulnerability. No fear of rejection, no discomfort, no hard conversations. There is no growth. No chance to see or be seen in new ways. No moments… Continue reading Want With Feeling
Vulnerability Like a Mantis Shrimp
Color has always been a resonating analogy for how I understand and interpret the world. People have colors- not like auras, but there are characteristics that I associate with certain colors. Most people are either red or blue. Occasionally, someone is purple. In very rare cases, someone is green. It doesn't mean much of anything… Continue reading Vulnerability Like a Mantis Shrimp
Radical Vulnerability
I was having a conversation with a friend last night (because yes, a lot of my internal self-growth comes from having amazing friends that push and challenge my understandings and expectations of the world), and we were talking about vulnerability. At one point, I asked, “Does harm=vulnerability?” and he responded, “Isn’t vulnerability the risk of… Continue reading Radical Vulnerability
Monomaniacism 