It's been awhile since I've posted anything here. I've got some updating to do, but I needed a place to put this, so...lots of raw spewing of emotion, verbal vomit processing, shit that I need to get out of my bloodstream and didn’t have anywhere else to put it. So it’s going here. Listening to… Continue reading How To Be Dead
Category: Non-Monogamy
No Expectations
I’ve seen the phrase “no expectations” used a lot in the context of relationships: everything from “We have no expectations of each other; we hang out when it feels good to and don’t when it doesn’t.” to “So-and-so keeps saying there are no expectations of our time together, but I don’t know what that means.”… Continue reading No Expectations
Intention in Communication: Permission, Opinion, Information
I’ve had this ongoing thought recently, and it keeps coming up in conversations, so I figured it’s worth writing down. There are a lot of different ways and reasons and contexts in which we communicate things in relationships, but they mostly seem to boil down to one of three general categories: asking permission, asking opinion,… Continue reading Intention in Communication: Permission, Opinion, Information
Embracing the Difference
I don’t really write about my poly much. Mostly because my poly doesn’t take a lot of work, effort, or thought- and when it does, those things are usually highly personal and usually not the kinds of things I want to share on a public forum. My poly works pretty well for me and, of… Continue reading Embracing the Difference
Scarcity and Dehydration
Scarcity mentality is an interesting thing. On one hand, it’s been the thing that pushed me to do things I might not have otherwise done, the idea that, “this could be the last time I have the chance to…” or “if I died tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?” The idea of limits and… Continue reading Scarcity and Dehydration
Reconfiguring “Partner”
I don’t take language lightly. For all its flaws and limitations, the ways that we describe and name the things that matter to us is important. We will always miss the mark, at least a little. What you hear and what I say are not always the same thing. It’s the risk we take with… Continue reading Reconfiguring “Partner”
Fragments
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the beauty of people around me. I mean, sure. Aesthetically pleasing. But this, this is a different kind of beauty. The beauty of shadows and light. Complex expressions on the edge of sight. The way he bends. The way she turns her head. The way they smile, sleepily, curled up… Continue reading Fragments
Sex and Intimacy
Sex and intimacy have never been directly linked for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely find intimacy in sex, particularly with people that I feel very strongly connected to. But I have never needed sex to feel intimate and close with someone. As much of a sexual person as I am, sex has always felt… Continue reading Sex and Intimacy
Yes
“I love you, too,” she said, because she speaks the language of my eyes and I sink into the words like a blanket of moss beneath my hands. Soft. Certain. Steady. It might have been the first time, or the fiftieth, or that time where we have lost track of the number of times we… Continue reading Yes
Missing
I don't do well with missing. Missing out, missing people, missing things, missing opportunities, missing anything. It's never been a forte of mine, and it's been a thread that’s been weaving through my life lately. Note my displeasure. “Missing” sits like a lump in my throat, one I just can't clear. I’ll forget, for awhile,… Continue reading Missing
Monomaniacism 