Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Despite Everything, I Am Still Human

For awhile there, I had this barometer: if something felt scary to say, it was probably important to say it. I have a really hard time differentiating between overthinking simple things and actual, legitimate feelings. I’m never sure if the sensation I’m experiencing is the result of overprocessing a simple thing, or if it’s an… Continue reading Despite Everything, I Am Still Human

Blog, Mental Health

They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms

I was talking to my partner about something that had been nagging at me a bit- nothing big, but I wanted his perspective. As we were talking, I made the comment that I’m not a highly emotional person… or I tried to, anyway, but he started laughing uncontrollably. “You can’t tell me that you’re not… Continue reading They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms

Blog, Kink, Mental Health, Non-Monogamy

Scarcity and Dehydration

Scarcity mentality is an interesting thing. On one hand, it’s been the thing that pushed me to do things I might not have otherwise done, the idea that, “this could be the last time I have the chance to…” or “if I died tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?” The idea of limits and… Continue reading Scarcity and Dehydration

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Transitions and Movement

It’s been an interesting few months. This time of year is notoriously difficult for me- the space between the holidays and the coming spring is traditionally one of the hardest times to be in my head. It feels stagnant, everyone is hibernating- recovering from family time, stressing about money, out of spoons for socializing- and… Continue reading Transitions and Movement

Blog, Kink, Mental Health, Power, Pain, and D/s

Need

My body is craving sensation. Pain. I’m trying to remember the last time my body needed to ground down into pain. It’s not a bad feeling, exactly. It’s just disorienting. Like my skin doesn’t fit right and I need to writhe around inside of it. Like I need something that forces me to push against… Continue reading Need

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Diving In

I’m spinning around the thoughts in my head, a pressure canister, trying to hold everything contained in the midst of a tornado grasping and pulling the pieces from my fingertips. Breathe. It’s a frantic dash, the feeling like maybe, just maybe, I can keep everything from flying out of my control if I can just… Continue reading Diving In

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Demons and Body Issues

CW: food stuff, body image, references to addiction and eating disorders I’m sitting at my job, and realize that I’m hungry. I’m hungry. What a sensation; I don’t feel hungry very often. I want to scream out to the world: I ate substantial food today! Things with nutrients! I felt hungry and handled it in a good… Continue reading Demons and Body Issues