I haven’t been writing much lately, and I can feel it wearing away at me. When I don’t write, I feel weary, and when I don’t write because I don’t have time and energy to do so, I feel doubly weary. And I have been so, so weary lately. So I promised I would make… Continue reading Weary Musings
Tag: sex
Pain, Power, and Sex
Musing wine thoughts: pain, power, and sex are intrinsically linked for me. I can take much more pain where there is a power component, and I can take much more of both when there is a sexual component. Not all my kink is sexual. But I think I haven’t wanted to touch pain and power… Continue reading Pain, Power, and Sex
Fuck (I Love You)
Gasping. My knees ache and I don’t care. My pulse in my body, on the surface of my skin, throbbing. His hands on the rope, pulling, fighting. I struggle to sit up and he lifts me, growling something incoherent and slams me back down to fight with the ends tangling and wrapping, charged, electric with… Continue reading Fuck (I Love You)
Transitions and Transience
I folded myself over on the couch, burying my face into his warmth. “I don’t know how to want you right now,” I said, “but I do.” Transitions are inherently awkward and god, there have been so many lately. For someone who loves movement, the shifting, chaotic whirlwinds of change, it’s been hard to know… Continue reading Transitions and Transience
Sex and Intimacy
Sex and intimacy have never been directly linked for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely find intimacy in sex, particularly with people that I feel very strongly connected to. But I have never needed sex to feel intimate and close with someone. As much of a sexual person as I am, sex has always felt… Continue reading Sex and Intimacy
Sex and Psychological Play
Last night, my partner and I got into a really awesome conversation about psychological play and the ways it in factors into our relationships. After meandering through our semi-deconstructionist way of teasing apart concepts and ideas, we came to this somewhat central point: almost all the sex that either of us have is a form of… Continue reading Sex and Psychological Play
Fucking History
When I am running toward, grasping for, hoping and building expectation, that is where I find myself most lost, unsatisfied and unsatiated, prone to disappointment, chain smoking on street corners and wondering where things went so wrong. I cannot seek redemption in other people, but I can find it in myself and this, this was… Continue reading Fucking History
Let’s Fuck
Let’s fuck. Now. With words, hesitant and unsure, growing, building. I want. I want to want with you, to hear you finish that sentence, to shape it and form it and choke on it and claim it. Tomorrow. Yesterday. In memory and in fantasy, in the quiet hours of the night where the things we fear seem… Continue reading Let’s Fuck
The Taste of Fur and Honeyed Mead
“Timid.” I roll the word around on my tongue, trying to grasp at the sensation. “It’s got such a strange texture.” I’m curled up on his chest, his arms around me as I explore the shape and texture of language in my mouth and soak in these dwindling moments before he has to leave. I… Continue reading The Taste of Fur and Honeyed Mead
Every Thought is Violent
CW: references to CNC edging on rape play, references to substance use Every thought that passes through is violent. Slammed into the wall so hard my head spins and I can taste the fury, your hands uncontained and wild, roving like someone losing the edge of control, the line between want and need nonexistent as… Continue reading Every Thought is Violent
Monomaniacism 