Musing wine thoughts: pain, power, and sex are intrinsically linked for me. I can take much more pain where there is a power component, and I can take much more of both when there is a sexual component. Not all my kink is sexual. But I think I haven’t wanted to touch pain and power… Continue reading Pain, Power, and Sex
Category: Psychological & CNC
You Know Me
Find the pieces of me that make me the most of who I am and gently shred them. The places I hold closest to my heart and lay them bare. Spread wide. Slip your fingers into the warm velvet of my vulnerability, the slick crevices of my mind where I hide parts of my heart… Continue reading You Know Me
CNC Is More Than Sexual Aggression
I’ve written, at various points, about aspects of consensual non-consent (CNC) and how I relate to it and what it means to me and how that factors into negotiation of safewords and so on. CNC is a pretty big part of my kink, threading through so many of the things that I do, both implicitly… Continue reading CNC Is More Than Sexual Aggression
Countdown
CN: needles “We’ll do it on three, on the exhale,” he says. I nod, trembling. I want to say I never wanted this, but the truth is that I never wanted to want this. Bottoming for needleplay has been a hard limit for as long as I can remember, but hard limits born from fear… Continue reading Countdown
Transitions and Transience
I folded myself over on the couch, burying my face into his warmth. “I don’t know how to want you right now,” I said, “but I do.” Transitions are inherently awkward and god, there have been so many lately. For someone who loves movement, the shifting, chaotic whirlwinds of change, it’s been hard to know… Continue reading Transitions and Transience
Dancing with Demons
Content note: discussion of consensual non-consent (CNC) with references to rape play and coercive non-sober kink Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that, they say. My manic brain put a nice twist on that today: scarcity makes desire obsessive. I’m unraveling a thought thread that is made of so many different parts, I… Continue reading Dancing with Demons
Sex and Psychological Play
Last night, my partner and I got into a really awesome conversation about psychological play and the ways it in factors into our relationships. After meandering through our semi-deconstructionist way of teasing apart concepts and ideas, we came to this somewhat central point: almost all the sex that either of us have is a form of… Continue reading Sex and Psychological Play
Flash Fantasies
Flash. Blindfolded. Rough hands, touching gently, then grasping hard enough to pull the gasp from my lips. Then nothing, absence. Cool, metal, keen and sharp. Lips parted. Oh. Pressure, there. A small burn, then warm, wet, lips drinking the blood pooling on the surface of my skin. Shivering, cold where they drank me in. I would give… Continue reading Flash Fantasies
Emotional Masochism
After morning coffee talks about sounding and scene-building and fear play (as ya do), my brain went on a rampage of building scenes for myself that would fuck with my head real bad. So I started making a list...and in that list, started finding a common theme. For me, emotional and psychosocial masochism is the… Continue reading Emotional Masochism
Safewords, CNC, and How We Define Consent
This has been ruminating for some time, and recent conversations with several people- including discussing co-teaching a class on CNC-have brought it back to the forefront of my mind, along with the general community-wide discussions of consent. So, I figured now is as good a time as any. The content warnings are what you would… Continue reading Safewords, CNC, and How We Define Consent
Monomaniacism 