Blog, Kink

Skill and Luck

I was at an event recently where I had made plans with someone I care deeply about. After an extended period of (really wonderful) conversations, makeouts, and general shared space and company, we were going to do A Kink Thing together. In public. And we did. We had a really wonderful rope scene together (them… Continue reading Skill and Luck

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Sex and Intimacy

Sex and intimacy have never been directly linked for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely find intimacy in sex, particularly with people that I feel very strongly connected to. But I have never needed sex to feel intimate and close with someone. As much of a sexual person as I am, sex has always felt… Continue reading Sex and Intimacy

Blog, Kink

Small Gratitudes

I woke to a sense of golden peace, the deep, permeating kind that resonates in my bones. I’ve been thinking about gratitude lately- not just in the Thanksgiving sense, but in the sense of my life as a whole. A recent example: a sweetheart of mine texts me goodnight most nights, long after I’m already… Continue reading Small Gratitudes

Blog, Creative Non-Fiction, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness


“I love you, too,” she said, because she speaks the language of my eyes and I sink into the words like a blanket of moss beneath my hands. Soft. Certain. Steady. It might have been the first time, or the fiftieth, or that time where we have lost track of the number of times we… Continue reading Yes

Blog, Kink

Intention and Action: Switch Musings

One of the main questions people ask in pre-negotiating conversations (that point when you realize you want to play with someone, but aren’t sure if you have any overlapping interests) is, “What are you into?” It’s a valid question. A necessary one, even. I just don’t have a good answer to it. The problem is,… Continue reading Intention and Action: Switch Musings

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Friends with Intimacy

If there are things that do not appear inherently sexual (but very much are), can’t the same be true in reverse? That there are things that look, from the outside, incredibly sexual, but just…aren’t? He sits in the car with me while I smoke, my knees still shaking. He could read the cascading neuron failures… Continue reading Friends with Intimacy