Blog, Mental Health

They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms

I was talking to my partner about something that had been nagging at me a bit- nothing big, but I wanted his perspective. As we were talking, I made the comment that I’m not a highly emotional person… or I tried to, anyway, but he started laughing uncontrollably. “You can’t tell me that you’re not… Continue reading They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Transitions and Movement

It’s been an interesting few months. This time of year is notoriously difficult for me- the space between the holidays and the coming spring is traditionally one of the hardest times to be in my head. It feels stagnant, everyone is hibernating- recovering from family time, stressing about money, out of spoons for socializing- and… Continue reading Transitions and Movement

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Diving In

I’m spinning around the thoughts in my head, a pressure canister, trying to hold everything contained in the midst of a tornado grasping and pulling the pieces from my fingertips. Breathe. It’s a frantic dash, the feeling like maybe, just maybe, I can keep everything from flying out of my control if I can just… Continue reading Diving In

Blog, Kink

Out of Time

I’m out of time again, that pervasive sense that I have lost the luxury of being able to be afraid. Fear is a waste of time, a waste of moment, a wasted opportunity, and there are far too few of those. I should tell you. What I have is now, freezing in my skin, curled… Continue reading Out of Time

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Full Moon Sparks

I feel it seeping in my skin. A slow tingle that spreads, warm like bourbon, a sharp spice echoing on my tongue. Wild eyes. I’m biting my lip to ground into something. My limbs are sewn together with lightning and it sparks my movement, surges of kinetic heat. Building, creating. An itch for something a… Continue reading Full Moon Sparks

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

This Is The Chaos

I am running from what is real, afraid of memory and the promise it holds. I gave myself permission and now I am afraid of so much freedom. I am afraid to sink into what lives inside of me. Unscrupulous greys, she called it, that moral compass inside of us that never points north. It’s… Continue reading This Is The Chaos

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Tell Me What You See

What do you see? Some days, I cannot find the best versions of myself and I decide to be the person other people seem to see in me. But I don't know what you see. I see what I am not. I see the ways in which I fail to be the length and width… Continue reading Tell Me What You See