Blog, Consent, Kink, Mental Health

Unpopular Opinions Post

I have a whole list of things I want to write, and I jokingly said I should consolidate them all into a singular post called The Unpopular Opinions Post. And maybe it was a joke at first, but the more I think about it, the more I just want to state these things that I… Continue reading Unpopular Opinions Post

Blog, Consent, Kink

The Role of Empathy in Consent

Note: this is long, incredibly nuanced, and full of caveats. I tried to trim down as much as I could, but I also believe that not everything is simple, and sometimes the nuance and complexity is important to the discussion. I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about a series of loaded topics-… Continue reading The Role of Empathy in Consent

Blog, Consent, Kink

Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile

We talk about risk profiles in the scene- the idea that we recognize that different activities carry certain types of risks, and we understand what those risks are (to the best of our abilities). We attempt to mitigate those risks through negotiation, safewords, in-scene checks, etc. but at the end of the day, we recognize… Continue reading Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile

Blog, Consent, Kink, Queerness

Better Standards

Maybe we all need to be held to better standards. All of us. Spoiler note: it is exhausting. And sometimes requires that we step away to focus. And it never ends. We get into this world, bright-eyed, excited, finally feeling like we have found our people, found where we belong. Some of us, anyway. I’m… Continue reading Better Standards

Blog, Consent, Kink, Power, Pain, and D/s

Tell Me

I want you to tell me. I don’t know who you are, or if you’re even real. If you exist, somewhere, in the world, in my world. I don’t care. I want you to tell me. Tell me it’s time. After hours of waiting and surges of wanting, its time. I can touch myself, but… Continue reading Tell Me

Blog, Consent, Kink

Consent, Risk Assessment, and Responsibility

It would be really nice if consent were as black-and-white as I want it to be. But even in my own life, I recognize that that is not necessarily true. Example: Two people in an ongoing play/sometimes-sexual relationship decide to do a scene. One person is feeling a little off and not incredibly sexual, and communicate… Continue reading Consent, Risk Assessment, and Responsibility

Blog, Consent, Kink, Power, Pain, and D/s

Permission, Consent, and Renegotiating Fearplay

I had a situation occur that has me thinking about the nuanced difference between “permission” and “consent.” Consent, of course, is a complex, complicated concept that roughly comes down to an understanding of limits, boundaries, and activities that people mutually agree to engage in together. Of course it’s more complicated than that, but the focus… Continue reading Permission, Consent, and Renegotiating Fearplay