I don’t really write about my poly much. Mostly because my poly doesn’t take a lot of work, effort, or thought- and when it does, those things are usually highly personal and usually not the kinds of things I want to share on a public forum. My poly works pretty well for me and, of… Continue reading Embracing the Difference
Tag: insecurity
Submission and Suffering With Intention
Tonight, I decided it’d be a great night to put in a butt plug and do some writing. I’ve had a myriad of thoughts that I wanted to put down, and I haven’t worn my plug in awhile, and I drank a cup of cold brew, so why not? So I hopped in the shower… Continue reading Submission and Suffering With Intention
Scarcity and Dehydration
Scarcity mentality is an interesting thing. On one hand, it’s been the thing that pushed me to do things I might not have otherwise done, the idea that, “this could be the last time I have the chance to…” or “if I died tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?” The idea of limits and… Continue reading Scarcity and Dehydration
Plunging Into the Mess
I had a strange night. I successfully did something I’ve been trying to figure out how to do for a couple of weeks (self-tied daruma), and damn, I was flying high off that for a little while. But when the endorphins wore off, man, I got all weird and feelsy. I took a shower and tried to… Continue reading Plunging Into the Mess
I’ll Invent Reasons to Reject You So You Never Get to Reject Me
So, I've recently become aware of this Problematic Thing that I do, particularly with people with whom my insecurities get in the way of trusting their affection for me. It starts with some kind of (usually false) premise (also known, in this case, as an insecurity). Something like an inherent belief that: I take up… Continue reading I’ll Invent Reasons to Reject You So You Never Get to Reject Me
Inconvenience and Insecurity
I’ve been writing for… fuck, as long as I can remember. I still have old notebooks and journals from when I was a child (and, now parenting a child of a similar age, I am living the mortification of letting her read them when she asks and cringing at the words of my younger self.… Continue reading Inconvenience and Insecurity
Monomaniacism 