Tonight, I decided it’d be a great night to put in a butt plug and do some writing. I’ve had a myriad of thoughts that I wanted to put down, and I haven’t worn my plug in awhile, and I drank a cup of cold brew, so why not? So I hopped in the shower… Continue reading Submission and Suffering With Intention
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Fuck (I Love You)
Gasping. My knees ache and I don’t care. My pulse in my body, on the surface of my skin, throbbing. His hands on the rope, pulling, fighting. I struggle to sit up and he lifts me, growling something incoherent and slams me back down to fight with the ends tangling and wrapping, charged, electric with… Continue reading Fuck (I Love You)
This One Is For Me
This one is for me. Not for elegance and eloquence, but for something else. The rougher edges and hollowed cores of pieces of me I left by the wayside. For years of stories lurking just beneath the surface. Scribbled fragments on the backs of serving paper and greasy placemats. She says, over and over. There… Continue reading This One Is For Me
Skill and Luck
I was at an event recently where I had made plans with someone I care deeply about. After an extended period of (really wonderful) conversations, makeouts, and general shared space and company, we were going to do A Kink Thing together. In public. And we did. We had a really wonderful rope scene together (them… Continue reading Skill and Luck
Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile
We talk about risk profiles in the scene- the idea that we recognize that different activities carry certain types of risks, and we understand what those risks are (to the best of our abilities). We attempt to mitigate those risks through negotiation, safewords, in-scene checks, etc. but at the end of the day, we recognize… Continue reading Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile
Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope
There is a lot of discussion about representation in rope. To be honest, there has always been a lot of discussion among those who aren’t often represented in rope about it, but now it’s hit the mainstream conversation. And I think that’s great! I actually do. I want to see more men in rope. I… Continue reading Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope
CNC Is More Than Sexual Aggression
I’ve written, at various points, about aspects of consensual non-consent (CNC) and how I relate to it and what it means to me and how that factors into negotiation of safewords and so on. CNC is a pretty big part of my kink, threading through so many of the things that I do, both implicitly… Continue reading CNC Is More Than Sexual Aggression
Scarcity and Dehydration
Scarcity mentality is an interesting thing. On one hand, it’s been the thing that pushed me to do things I might not have otherwise done, the idea that, “this could be the last time I have the chance to…” or “if I died tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?” The idea of limits and… Continue reading Scarcity and Dehydration
Transitions and Movement
It’s been an interesting few months. This time of year is notoriously difficult for me- the space between the holidays and the coming spring is traditionally one of the hardest times to be in my head. It feels stagnant, everyone is hibernating- recovering from family time, stressing about money, out of spoons for socializing- and… Continue reading Transitions and Movement
Countdown
CN: needles “We’ll do it on three, on the exhale,” he says. I nod, trembling. I want to say I never wanted this, but the truth is that I never wanted to want this. Bottoming for needleplay has been a hard limit for as long as I can remember, but hard limits born from fear… Continue reading Countdown
Monomaniacism 