I haven’t been writing much lately, and I can feel it wearing away at me. When I don’t write, I feel weary, and when I don’t write because I don’t have time and energy to do so, I feel doubly weary. And I have been so, so weary lately. So I promised I would make… Continue reading Weary Musings
Tag: power
Pain, Power, and Sex
Musing wine thoughts: pain, power, and sex are intrinsically linked for me. I can take much more pain where there is a power component, and I can take much more of both when there is a sexual component. Not all my kink is sexual. But I think I haven’t wanted to touch pain and power… Continue reading Pain, Power, and Sex
Countdown
CN: needles “We’ll do it on three, on the exhale,” he says. I nod, trembling. I want to say I never wanted this, but the truth is that I never wanted to want this. Bottoming for needleplay has been a hard limit for as long as I can remember, but hard limits born from fear… Continue reading Countdown
The Metallic Taste of Blue
He searches my face, looking in and through my eyes. I cock my head, raise an eyebrow. “What?” I whisper. He shrugs. “Just looking to see if your eyes are doing any fun things.” “And are they?” I ask. “Mmmmm,” comes the non-committal reply, echoed in the small smile tugging at the corner of his… Continue reading The Metallic Taste of Blue
Tell Me
I want you to tell me. I don’t know who you are, or if you’re even real. If you exist, somewhere, in the world, in my world. I don’t care. I want you to tell me. Tell me it’s time. After hours of waiting and surges of wanting, its time. I can touch myself, but… Continue reading Tell Me
24/7 Switch
Why is this so much harder than I was expecting? I wonder, over and over, until it hits me: without meaning to, without intending to, without really consciously trying to, I accidentally wound up in a 24/7 switch dynamic. Let me back up. We talk about total power exchange, 24/7 D/s and M/s dynamics. Those seem,… Continue reading 24/7 Switch
Flash Fantasies
Flash. Blindfolded. Rough hands, touching gently, then grasping hard enough to pull the gasp from my lips. Then nothing, absence. Cool, metal, keen and sharp. Lips parted. Oh. Pressure, there. A small burn, then warm, wet, lips drinking the blood pooling on the surface of my skin. Shivering, cold where they drank me in. I would give… Continue reading Flash Fantasies
Out Of Context
I've been struggling with context lately, although I haven't had those words, exactly. I keep having these moments of panic, and trying to explain why, and people around me being very perplexed because the thing that I’m panicking about is, apparently, a normal thing. I realize that, in the context of my life, certain experiences… Continue reading Out Of Context
Roller coasters and Adrenaline Rushes
This was a stupid idea. Why are you doing this? This is going to end poorly. Belted in, securely but just-not-securely enough to make me think about every way that I'm going to die in the next three minutes. The clank of machinery, and I think about every engineering student that cheated off me on… Continue reading Roller coasters and Adrenaline Rushes
Open Your Eyes
I force my eyes open. They are standing over me and I drink in the curves of their face, their hair cascading down their back and haphazardly draping forward over their shoulder, one hand between my legs, the other wrapped, momentarily, around my throat. I've seen that look before, a slow spreading joy, drinking in… Continue reading Open Your Eyes
Monomaniacism 