Note: this is long, incredibly nuanced, and full of caveats. I tried to trim down as much as I could, but I also believe that not everything is simple, and sometimes the nuance and complexity is important to the discussion. I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about a series of loaded topics-… Continue reading The Role of Empathy in Consent
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Despite Everything, I Am Still Human
For awhile there, I had this barometer: if something felt scary to say, it was probably important to say it. I have a really hard time differentiating between overthinking simple things and actual, legitimate feelings. I’m never sure if the sensation I’m experiencing is the result of overprocessing a simple thing, or if it’s an… Continue reading Despite Everything, I Am Still Human
Weary Musings
I haven’t been writing much lately, and I can feel it wearing away at me. When I don’t write, I feel weary, and when I don’t write because I don’t have time and energy to do so, I feel doubly weary. And I have been so, so weary lately. So I promised I would make… Continue reading Weary Musings
Pain, Power, and Sex
Musing wine thoughts: pain, power, and sex are intrinsically linked for me. I can take much more pain where there is a power component, and I can take much more of both when there is a sexual component. Not all my kink is sexual. But I think I haven’t wanted to touch pain and power… Continue reading Pain, Power, and Sex
Peace in the Violence
I haven’t known how to write this, because the truth is in context, and the context is hard. Necessary. Relevant. Vulnerable. Messy. Insanely, poignantly, unmistakably human. And violent. So much violence. “Embrace the violence of it,” he said to me almost a year ago, as my hand held a small gauge needle and prepared to… Continue reading Peace in the Violence
Sinking in to Discomfort
I never know where to start with camp, perhaps this one more than most. There was just so much. Vast arrays of feelings, complicated and nuanced discussions, painfully vulnerable moments and disarmingly present ones. Threads. So many threads weaving in and out and around this space and me and rapid-speed processing through each piece. Balance and counterbalance,… Continue reading Sinking in to Discomfort
You Know Me
Find the pieces of me that make me the most of who I am and gently shred them. The places I hold closest to my heart and lay them bare. Spread wide. Slip your fingers into the warm velvet of my vulnerability, the slick crevices of my mind where I hide parts of my heart… Continue reading You Know Me
I Want You To Wreck Me
I want you to wreck me. Eyes closed, taste the succor of words, unexpected but perhaps all the more potent because of it. Flash images of tears that never come, brimming just over the edge of a line I never cross. I can’t transcribe what I see in my mind, but god, I ache for… Continue reading I Want You To Wreck Me
They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms
I was talking to my partner about something that had been nagging at me a bit- nothing big, but I wanted his perspective. As we were talking, I made the comment that I’m not a highly emotional person… or I tried to, anyway, but he started laughing uncontrollably. “You can’t tell me that you’re not… Continue reading They’re Not Emotions; They’re Symptoms
Embracing the Difference
I don’t really write about my poly much. Mostly because my poly doesn’t take a lot of work, effort, or thought- and when it does, those things are usually highly personal and usually not the kinds of things I want to share on a public forum. My poly works pretty well for me and, of… Continue reading Embracing the Difference
Monomaniacism 