I feel it seeping in my skin. A slow tingle that spreads, warm like bourbon, a sharp spice echoing on my tongue. Wild eyes. I’m biting my lip to ground into something. My limbs are sewn together with lightning and it sparks my movement, surges of kinetic heat. Building, creating. An itch for something a… Continue reading Full Moon Sparks
Tag: mania
This Is The Chaos
I am running from what is real, afraid of memory and the promise it holds. I gave myself permission and now I am afraid of so much freedom. I am afraid to sink into what lives inside of me. Unscrupulous greys, she called it, that moral compass inside of us that never points north. It’s… Continue reading This Is The Chaos
Quivers
I woke this morning to vibrations. Movement, quivering. A trembling step, an electric current grasped and held, coursing through. The air bites through the trees, angrily whipping in the predawn glow. I can feel the danger, just the right amount, in the groan of the branches and whirlwinds of dead leaves rising from the ground.… Continue reading Quivers
I Want With the Storm
What is it with these storms? They make me itch, make me ravenous. And in my current state of mind- the kind that says, “The world is terrible and we’re headed for collision; we’re all going to die so make the most of it now,”- these storms make me just a little bit reckless. They… Continue reading I Want With the Storm
Catharsis
CW: singular reference to cathartic self-harm practice Slow movement. The air pressure shifts drops presses contracts against my skin. A sense of waiting, the thin edge between expectation and anticipation. Build rise fall drop. Every breeze feels like the beginning of a hurricane that doesn't manifest fully. Grasping. Midnight purple, the color you are when… Continue reading Catharsis
This is the Mess
I'm biting my lip. There is a storm brewing just beneath my skin. This one came on fast, if we ignore the building winds and inconsistent sirens over the past few months. I'm searching for my next bad idea, and you're looking better every minute. Are you willing to be a mistake? Or are you… Continue reading This is the Mess
The Fire Came Back
The fire came back, and I can feel it tensing in my bones, running ripples down my spine. I need to burn, to feel the edge of pain pressing against a threshold, to breathe into it and through it, to know that fear and burn through to acceptance. It’s potent, visceral; I can burn anywhere… Continue reading The Fire Came Back
Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage
This has been a strange week for me. Just as I started to get on a schedule with writing, drawing, and posting, there comes along the inevitable wrench in my well-laid plans. Which is all well, good, and fine... this particular wrench has the added benefit of giving me excellent writing fodder and deliciously beautiful… Continue reading Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage
Lying to a Junkie
The payment screen on the metro card machine instructs me to dip my ATM card. Dip, like a child testing the temperature of water with their foot, invoking a deceptive smoothness to the instruction. My movements are anything but fluid and gentle. I shift my oversized camping backpack awkwardly, trying to reach for my wallet… Continue reading Lying to a Junkie
Springtime itch
I feel the rumbling itch to erupt growling underneath my skin. Spring brings this out in me. It starts slow: a warmth, a steady rush that permeates my skin on that first warm day, and I feel like I am in deep thaw, waking from a hibernation of which I was oblivious until it was… Continue reading Springtime itch
Monomaniacism 