I'm biting my lip. There is a storm brewing just beneath my skin. This one came on fast, if we ignore the building winds and inconsistent sirens over the past few months. I'm searching for my next bad idea, and you're looking better every minute. Are you willing to be a mistake? Or are you… Continue reading This is the Mess
Tag: Mental Health
This is Where the Notebooks Go
Today I sat on my floor and looked around at the overwhelmingness of my living room and panicked. Dishes on the coffee table that were at least 5 days (if not a week) old, so old the fruit flies had either finally lost interest or drowned in their hunt for fermented mimosa. Most of… Continue reading This is Where the Notebooks Go
Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage
This has been a strange week for me. Just as I started to get on a schedule with writing, drawing, and posting, there comes along the inevitable wrench in my well-laid plans. Which is all well, good, and fine... this particular wrench has the added benefit of giving me excellent writing fodder and deliciously beautiful… Continue reading Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage
Polycons: Navigating conferences within poly dynamics
Last weekend, I attended a kink convention on the east coast with my spouse. We’ve been to several events put on by this organization together, enough to begin to develop some understanding of how we interact (both as partners and individually) in the highly-sexualized space. As we were talking and decompressing after we got home,… Continue reading Polycons: Navigating conferences within poly dynamics
Shit, I love you and you haven’t met my teddy bear
I spend a lot of time thinking about mental health and kink, partially because I’ve had to learn to navigate kink and being poly while coming to terms with some of the challenges presented by my own mental health. The short version of a very long story is that I am, most likely, somewhere on… Continue reading Shit, I love you and you haven’t met my teddy bear
Body Dysphoria
I don’t write about my own experience with Body Stuff very often. I hint at it, here and there because it’s a part of my insecurities, but I haven’t really written about how I experience life in my body. As a trans person, it’s easy to assume body dysphoria as it relates to gender. I… Continue reading Body Dysphoria
Lying to a Junkie
The payment screen on the metro card machine instructs me to dip my ATM card. Dip, like a child testing the temperature of water with their foot, invoking a deceptive smoothness to the instruction. My movements are anything but fluid and gentle. I shift my oversized camping backpack awkwardly, trying to reach for my wallet… Continue reading Lying to a Junkie
I (want to be) my own primary partner
There are a lot of different ways to do poly relationships. Every time I have a conversation with someone about playing or going on a date, we talk about poly dynamics. How they/I do poly, how they/I view it, what kinds of framework we are each working within. In many of these conversations, I have… Continue reading I (want to be) my own primary partner
Unclench
Prelude: The bathroom, January, 2015 My partner and I smoke in the bathroom during the winter. There are tricks to keeping the stale scent under control, but after a few weeks, we stop blowing smoke through the dryer filter and don't care whether the shower is on or not, and the towel is only haphazardly… Continue reading Unclench
Springtime itch
I feel the rumbling itch to erupt growling underneath my skin. Spring brings this out in me. It starts slow: a warmth, a steady rush that permeates my skin on that first warm day, and I feel like I am in deep thaw, waking from a hibernation of which I was oblivious until it was… Continue reading Springtime itch
Monomaniacism 