Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Letting Go of the Ground

There is an explosive amount of chemistry here. It's visceral, palpable, electric, raw. It comes out when we tie, when we fuck, when we talk, when we catch eyes across the room and smile. It's movement and energy. There is nothing static here; it feeds and builds and brings muscles to move, grasping, squeezing, holding.… Continue reading Letting Go of the Ground

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

On Fluid Bonding

My partner and I recently changed our safer sex/barrier practices which, of course, brings up the conversation of fluid bonding and what that means in the context of our relationship. It's been a conversation flitting around the periphery of my experience lately because I've been sleeping with (and having more conversations with) people who are… Continue reading On Fluid Bonding

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Surprise Me

I've been thinking about care and affection a lot lately- how I show it, how I understand it, and how I receive it. I always feel slightly... limited... by the language surrounding the "5 Love Languages" concept, but the idea is pretty spot-on, I think. We all give, receive, and understand affection, care, love, whatever… Continue reading Surprise Me

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

I Am Not Your Partner

This isn't really a response to any one person or situation, but rather a collection of discussions I've had over the last few weeks. It feels worth it to talk about publicly because it's something that is increasingly important to me, and it has come up with various people in different situations. The short version:… Continue reading I Am Not Your Partner

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Addendum to FetLife (public) Relationships

So, a couple days ago, sitting backstage of a convention where I was working as part of the tech crew, I started scribbling down some thoughts on my phone about FetLife relationships because it was something that was fresh on my mind and, between tech sets, I had time to kill. By the end of… Continue reading Addendum to FetLife (public) Relationships

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

On FetLife (Public) Relationships

So, a particular relationship in my life has been shifting, and recently, we decided to change our FetLife relationship to more accurately reflect where we are- from something nebulously platonic to something nebulously not-so-platonic. (Turns out I've developed a taste for the nebulous.) But it's got me thinking about public FL relationships, and the concepts… Continue reading On FetLife (Public) Relationships

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

By the Way, I Love you

Oh, and by the way, I love you. Let's get married. We can break up tomorrow, because these words don't mean what we were taught they mean so we can redefine them to our liking and laugh at the lack of comprehension. Let's fuck, the friends-with-benefits way, the no-strings attached way that means that we… Continue reading By the Way, I Love you

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Friends with Intimacy

If there are things that do not appear inherently sexual (but very much are), can’t the same be true in reverse? That there are things that look, from the outside, incredibly sexual, but just…aren’t? He sits in the car with me while I smoke, my knees still shaking. He could read the cascading neuron failures… Continue reading Friends with Intimacy

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage

This has been a strange week for me. Just as I started to get on a schedule with writing, drawing, and posting, there comes along the inevitable wrench in my well-laid plans. Which is all well, good, and fine... this particular wrench has the added benefit of giving me excellent writing fodder and deliciously beautiful… Continue reading Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy

Polycons: Navigating conferences within poly dynamics

Last weekend, I attended a kink convention on the east coast with my spouse. We’ve been to several events put on by this organization together, enough to begin to develop some understanding of how we interact (both as partners and individually) in the highly-sexualized space. As we were talking and decompressing after we got home,… Continue reading Polycons: Navigating conferences within poly dynamics