“How does it feel, watching them?” he asked, studying my face intently. She is poetry; he is sensation. She looks strong, a strength I knew she carried but hadn't seen in this same way. She never looks weak, but here, he brings out something different in her, and I can't help watching, seeing her out… Continue reading What Leaks Out of Your Eyes
Category: Kink
The Gifts We Offer
I don't even know how to write about this camp. If I could have whispered my wildest dreams into some secret part of my heart, I don't think even those would have dared to wish for such extravagance. And perhaps it feels so luxurious because of its subtleties. There are the big moments, yes. The… Continue reading The Gifts We Offer
Out Of Context
I've been struggling with context lately, although I haven't had those words, exactly. I keep having these moments of panic, and trying to explain why, and people around me being very perplexed because the thing that I’m panicking about is, apparently, a normal thing. I realize that, in the context of my life, certain experiences… Continue reading Out Of Context
Heat Lightning
That level of desire is something to remember… What catalyzes words, ignites the fuel beneath them so they ricochet through my veins like rockets? Fuck, I want you, words dripping like raw heat in summer, urgency palpable and thick, honeyed words spiked with bourbon and clove, the sharp bite of fresh spice. Water is control, and I… Continue reading Heat Lightning
Every Thought is Violent
CW: references to CNC edging on rape play, references to substance use Every thought that passes through is violent. Slammed into the wall so hard my head spins and I can taste the fury, your hands uncontained and wild, roving like someone losing the edge of control, the line between want and need nonexistent as… Continue reading Every Thought is Violent
On Consent and Making Spaces Safer
Last night, I was having a discussion with a friend in my local community about consent violations. In the midst of our discussion, she encouraged me to do this writing, and while I have some trepidation about it, I think it's good that we continue conversations about how to make our events, classes, playspaces, etc.… Continue reading On Consent and Making Spaces Safer
Anxiety and Projection
Anxiety is a tricky beast. For a long time, I didn't think anxiety was something I struggled with because I don't have a lot of social anxiety. I like being in groups of people most of the time. It feeds my extroverted side, and extroverts don't have anxiety. (This is bullshit, by the way). My brain often… Continue reading Anxiety and Projection
I Want With the Storm
What is it with these storms? They make me itch, make me ravenous. And in my current state of mind- the kind that says, “The world is terrible and we’re headed for collision; we’re all going to die so make the most of it now,”- these storms make me just a little bit reckless. They… Continue reading I Want With the Storm
Therefore, I Believe That I Want You Immensely
Therefore, I believe that I want you immensely. Desire is hard for me. Desire is the thing that gets the wheels spinning in my brain faster than anything. What do you want? When I was younger, that question caused a full-body panic and shutdown. Flashes of images, nausea, muscle spasms- not the sexy ones. And… Continue reading Therefore, I Believe That I Want You Immensely
Letting Go of the Ground
There is an explosive amount of chemistry here. It's visceral, palpable, electric, raw. It comes out when we tie, when we fuck, when we talk, when we catch eyes across the room and smile. It's movement and energy. There is nothing static here; it feeds and builds and brings muscles to move, grasping, squeezing, holding.… Continue reading Letting Go of the Ground
Monomaniacism 