Why is this so much harder than I was expecting? I wonder, over and over, until it hits me: without meaning to, without intending to, without really consciously trying to, I accidentally wound up in a 24/7 switch dynamic. Let me back up. We talk about total power exchange, 24/7 D/s and M/s dynamics. Those seem,… Continue reading 24/7 Switch
Category: Kink
Subjective/Objective Identities
‘Tis the season of change, the time we set aside to examine (and re-examine) our lives, who we are, what we want for ourselves. And in the midst of this season of new year’s resolutions and heavy introspection (what else are you gonna do when it’s so cold the air hurts?), I can’t stop thinking… Continue reading Subjective/Objective Identities
Diving In
I’m spinning around the thoughts in my head, a pressure canister, trying to hold everything contained in the midst of a tornado grasping and pulling the pieces from my fingertips. Breathe. It’s a frantic dash, the feeling like maybe, just maybe, I can keep everything from flying out of my control if I can just… Continue reading Diving In
Write Me a Story
“Write me a story,” he says. “Something you haven’t written before. Something hard, something that makes your stomach churn and sink at the thought of hitting ‘send.’ Write something honest, something hard, something real. Write something for me.” For him. Laying in the bed, sheets tangled and twisted around my legs, the light tinting my… Continue reading Write Me a Story
Dancing with Demons
Content note: discussion of consensual non-consent (CNC) with references to rape play and coercive non-sober kink Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that, they say. My manic brain put a nice twist on that today: scarcity makes desire obsessive. I’m unraveling a thought thread that is made of so many different parts, I… Continue reading Dancing with Demons
Permission, Consent, and Renegotiating Fearplay
I had a situation occur that has me thinking about the nuanced difference between “permission” and “consent.” Consent, of course, is a complex, complicated concept that roughly comes down to an understanding of limits, boundaries, and activities that people mutually agree to engage in together. Of course it’s more complicated than that, but the focus… Continue reading Permission, Consent, and Renegotiating Fearplay
Coated in Filth: On D/s and Power Exchange
So… D/s and power stuff? Nope nope nope let’s think about something else. This has been my thought cycle the past couple days. A bundle of thoughts sitting patiently, waiting for me to stop being afraid of them. I don’t like being afraid of my thoughts. The music is playing quietly in the background and I… Continue reading Coated in Filth: On D/s and Power Exchange
The End is Queer
I’ve been on a bit of a queer rampage again lately: telling stories, sharing histories. Explaining why I have such strong feelings about the term “partner.” Trying to explain that I feel a little like I’m navigating a foreign landscape because really, this whole year has been an adventure in renegotiating my relationship with my own queerness,… Continue reading The End is Queer
Sex and Psychological Play
Last night, my partner and I got into a really awesome conversation about psychological play and the ways it in factors into our relationships. After meandering through our semi-deconstructionist way of teasing apart concepts and ideas, we came to this somewhat central point: almost all the sex that either of us have is a form of… Continue reading Sex and Psychological Play
Demons and Body Issues
CW: food stuff, body image, references to addiction and eating disorders I’m sitting at my job, and realize that I’m hungry. I’m hungry. What a sensation; I don’t feel hungry very often. I want to scream out to the world: I ate substantial food today! Things with nutrients! I felt hungry and handled it in a good… Continue reading Demons and Body Issues
Monomaniacism 