We talk about risk profiles in the scene- the idea that we recognize that different activities carry certain types of risks, and we understand what those risks are (to the best of our abilities). We attempt to mitigate those risks through negotiation, safewords, in-scene checks, etc. but at the end of the day, we recognize… Continue reading Consent Violations are Part of My Risk Profile
Category: Kink
Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope
There is a lot of discussion about representation in rope. To be honest, there has always been a lot of discussion among those who aren’t often represented in rope about it, but now it’s hit the mainstream conversation. And I think that’s great! I actually do. I want to see more men in rope. I… Continue reading Don’t Just Look Better: On Representation in Rope
CNC Is More Than Sexual Aggression
I’ve written, at various points, about aspects of consensual non-consent (CNC) and how I relate to it and what it means to me and how that factors into negotiation of safewords and so on. CNC is a pretty big part of my kink, threading through so many of the things that I do, both implicitly… Continue reading CNC Is More Than Sexual Aggression
Scarcity and Dehydration
Scarcity mentality is an interesting thing. On one hand, it’s been the thing that pushed me to do things I might not have otherwise done, the idea that, “this could be the last time I have the chance to…” or “if I died tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?” The idea of limits and… Continue reading Scarcity and Dehydration
Transitions and Movement
It’s been an interesting few months. This time of year is notoriously difficult for me- the space between the holidays and the coming spring is traditionally one of the hardest times to be in my head. It feels stagnant, everyone is hibernating- recovering from family time, stressing about money, out of spoons for socializing- and… Continue reading Transitions and Movement
Countdown
CN: needles “We’ll do it on three, on the exhale,” he says. I nod, trembling. I want to say I never wanted this, but the truth is that I never wanted to want this. Bottoming for needleplay has been a hard limit for as long as I can remember, but hard limits born from fear… Continue reading Countdown
The Metallic Taste of Blue
He searches my face, looking in and through my eyes. I cock my head, raise an eyebrow. “What?” I whisper. He shrugs. “Just looking to see if your eyes are doing any fun things.” “And are they?” I ask. “Mmmmm,” comes the non-committal reply, echoed in the small smile tugging at the corner of his… Continue reading The Metallic Taste of Blue
I Have to Choose
I’ve been in this strange place recently, grappling with desires that don’t usually exist in the forefront of my mind. Submission, in some form. Power. Pain. I’ve written about them from every angle I can imagine, deconstructed them a million and one different ways, followed my nice, logical thought process through to whatever conclusions and… Continue reading I Have to Choose
But I Can Just Do It Myself…
I’ve been playing around with photography again for the first time in years. It feels good to pick my camera back up and, even if I’m rusty as hell, it’s coming back (and let’s face it, I only ever half-knew what I was doing anyway). So, it’s part remembering and part learning. I got back… Continue reading But I Can Just Do It Myself…
Integration: Winter Fire 2018
I never know what to expect walking into Winter Fire. It’s a bit hit-or-miss; sometimes, things converge in really good ways; sometimes, everything seems to just slightly miss the mark. This was a convergence, and I went into it checking my own assumptions with the intention of doing things that scared me. It paid off.… Continue reading Integration: Winter Fire 2018
Monomaniacism 