After morning coffee talks about sounding and scene-building and fear play (as ya do), my brain went on a rampage of building scenes for myself that would fuck with my head real bad. So I started making a list...and in that list, started finding a common theme. For me, emotional and psychosocial masochism is the… Continue reading Emotional Masochism
Category: Blog
I had this crazy thought that autumn might come quietly
I found a piece of broken glass on the concrete where I pressed my cigarette into the ground and resisted the urge to test its edges. I rediscovered my needle kit last night and opened it, hands itching for violence and skin too afraid to feel. I had this crazy thought that maybe we could… Continue reading I had this crazy thought that autumn might come quietly
Safewords, CNC, and How We Define Consent
This has been ruminating for some time, and recent conversations with several people- including discussing co-teaching a class on CNC-have brought it back to the forefront of my mind, along with the general community-wide discussions of consent. So, I figured now is as good a time as any. The content warnings are what you would… Continue reading Safewords, CNC, and How We Define Consent
The Right Kind of Space: (Re)Starting a Rope Journey
I am really bad at being bad at things. Extraordinarily terrible at it. And a lot of skill-based things require time, dedication, practice, and-perhaps most importantly-failure. Failure often teaches us more than success does. It helps us learn and grow, hopefully in a fairly safe environment, so that we don't risk further harm to ourselves… Continue reading The Right Kind of Space: (Re)Starting a Rope Journey
Gentle Reminders for Dropsy-Feelsy Day
I will never be a tiny, petite human. My body isn't built that way. That is ok. The people in my life like me just fine in the skin I’ve got. Attraction is not a stagnant, fixed thing. It's ok that I look vastly different. Let's be fair; there aren't a lot of people who… Continue reading Gentle Reminders for Dropsy-Feelsy Day
What Leaks Out of Your Eyes
“How does it feel, watching them?” he asked, studying my face intently. She is poetry; he is sensation. She looks strong, a strength I knew she carried but hadn't seen in this same way. She never looks weak, but here, he brings out something different in her, and I can't help watching, seeing her out… Continue reading What Leaks Out of Your Eyes
The Gifts We Offer
I don't even know how to write about this camp. If I could have whispered my wildest dreams into some secret part of my heart, I don't think even those would have dared to wish for such extravagance. And perhaps it feels so luxurious because of its subtleties. There are the big moments, yes. The… Continue reading The Gifts We Offer
Out Of Context
I've been struggling with context lately, although I haven't had those words, exactly. I keep having these moments of panic, and trying to explain why, and people around me being very perplexed because the thing that I’m panicking about is, apparently, a normal thing. I realize that, in the context of my life, certain experiences… Continue reading Out Of Context
Why I Support Antifa
I've had several folks approach me and ask why I support antifa. And rather than respond to the comments one-by-one, I decided I would just write a thing talking about it and start there. I'm not necessarily expecting anyone to agree with me, or change their perspective because of this, nor do I feel like… Continue reading Why I Support Antifa
Heat Lightning
That level of desire is something to remember… What catalyzes words, ignites the fuel beneath them so they ricochet through my veins like rockets? Fuck, I want you, words dripping like raw heat in summer, urgency palpable and thick, honeyed words spiked with bourbon and clove, the sharp bite of fresh spice. Water is control, and I… Continue reading Heat Lightning
Monomaniacism 