I don’t know if it’s ever truly possible to know how we are seen by the people who love us the most. The people we don’t know well are almost easier; I think many of us have a working understanding of the images we project outward and can grasp, somewhat, what People In General tend… Continue reading Warped Perspectives, New Directions
Category: Mental Health
Full Moon Sparks
I feel it seeping in my skin. A slow tingle that spreads, warm like bourbon, a sharp spice echoing on my tongue. Wild eyes. I’m biting my lip to ground into something. My limbs are sewn together with lightning and it sparks my movement, surges of kinetic heat. Building, creating. An itch for something a… Continue reading Full Moon Sparks
This Is The Chaos
I am running from what is real, afraid of memory and the promise it holds. I gave myself permission and now I am afraid of so much freedom. I am afraid to sink into what lives inside of me. Unscrupulous greys, she called it, that moral compass inside of us that never points north. It’s… Continue reading This Is The Chaos
Tell Me What You See
What do you see? Some days, I cannot find the best versions of myself and I decide to be the person other people seem to see in me. But I don't know what you see. I see what I am not. I see the ways in which I fail to be the length and width… Continue reading Tell Me What You See
On Rope, Self-Tying, and Body Image
So uh, I've been doing a lot of rope lately, which isn't altogether surprising. When I get something stuck in my teeth, I tend to go hard at it for a while until I either integrate it into my life or let it drop off (guess which direction this one is going?). Doing a lot… Continue reading On Rope, Self-Tying, and Body Image
I had this crazy thought that autumn might come quietly
I found a piece of broken glass on the concrete where I pressed my cigarette into the ground and resisted the urge to test its edges. I rediscovered my needle kit last night and opened it, hands itching for violence and skin too afraid to feel. I had this crazy thought that maybe we could… Continue reading I had this crazy thought that autumn might come quietly
Gentle Reminders for Dropsy-Feelsy Day
I will never be a tiny, petite human. My body isn't built that way. That is ok. The people in my life like me just fine in the skin I’ve got. Attraction is not a stagnant, fixed thing. It's ok that I look vastly different. Let's be fair; there aren't a lot of people who… Continue reading Gentle Reminders for Dropsy-Feelsy Day
Anxiety and Projection
Anxiety is a tricky beast. For a long time, I didn't think anxiety was something I struggled with because I don't have a lot of social anxiety. I like being in groups of people most of the time. It feeds my extroverted side, and extroverts don't have anxiety. (This is bullshit, by the way). My brain often… Continue reading Anxiety and Projection
Bad Ideas
This is a bad idea. Everything is a bad idea. Don't bad ideas make the best stories? I'm jumping in a car that died a couple days ago outside my work and resurrected itself into new life for just one more adventure. One more itch. One more plan. One more bad idea. I love bad… Continue reading Bad Ideas
Roller coasters and Adrenaline Rushes
This was a stupid idea. Why are you doing this? This is going to end poorly. Belted in, securely but just-not-securely enough to make me think about every way that I'm going to die in the next three minutes. The clank of machinery, and I think about every engineering student that cheated off me on… Continue reading Roller coasters and Adrenaline Rushes
Monomaniacism 