Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Diving In

I’m spinning around the thoughts in my head, a pressure canister, trying to hold everything contained in the midst of a tornado grasping and pulling the pieces from my fingertips. Breathe. It’s a frantic dash, the feeling like maybe, just maybe, I can keep everything from flying out of my control if I can just… Continue reading Diving In

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Demons and Body Issues

CW: food stuff, body image, references to addiction and eating disorders I’m sitting at my job, and realize that I’m hungry. I’m hungry. What a sensation; I don’t feel hungry very often. I want to scream out to the world: I ate substantial food today! Things with nutrients! I felt hungry and handled it in a good… Continue reading Demons and Body Issues

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Warped Perspectives, New Directions

I don’t know if it’s ever truly possible to know how we are seen by the people who love us the most. The people we don’t know well are almost easier; I think many of us have a working understanding of the images we project outward and can grasp, somewhat, what People In General tend… Continue reading Warped Perspectives, New Directions

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Full Moon Sparks

I feel it seeping in my skin. A slow tingle that spreads, warm like bourbon, a sharp spice echoing on my tongue. Wild eyes. I’m biting my lip to ground into something. My limbs are sewn together with lightning and it sparks my movement, surges of kinetic heat. Building, creating. An itch for something a… Continue reading Full Moon Sparks

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

This Is The Chaos

I am running from what is real, afraid of memory and the promise it holds. I gave myself permission and now I am afraid of so much freedom. I am afraid to sink into what lives inside of me. Unscrupulous greys, she called it, that moral compass inside of us that never points north. It’s… Continue reading This Is The Chaos

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

Tell Me What You See

What do you see? Some days, I cannot find the best versions of myself and I decide to be the person other people seem to see in me. But I don't know what you see. I see what I am not. I see the ways in which I fail to be the length and width… Continue reading Tell Me What You See

Blog, Kink, Mental Health

On Rope, Self-Tying, and Body Image

So uh, I've been doing a lot of rope lately, which isn't altogether surprising. When I get something stuck in my teeth, I tend to go hard at it for a while until I either integrate it into my life or let it drop off (guess which direction this one is going?). Doing a lot… Continue reading On Rope, Self-Tying, and Body Image