Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

I Am Not Your Partner

This isn't really a response to any one person or situation, but rather a collection of discussions I've had over the last few weeks. It feels worth it to talk about publicly because it's something that is increasingly important to me, and it has come up with various people in different situations. The short version:… Continue reading I Am Not Your Partner

Blog, Queerness

Don’t Tell Me You’re Queer

Show me. Show me in the way you move through the world, in the way that you think and act and respond and live. Queer is a multidimensional concept. Queer isn't just who you fuck, but how. Queer isn't just to whom you show affection, but when and why. Queer is sensory; it has form… Continue reading Don’t Tell Me You’re Queer

Blog, Kink, Queerness

I Don’t Need Allies; I Need Comrades

note: this is pretty raw, unedited, emotional output. Please don't expect polished and shiny. I don't have it in me right now. My partner and I found ourselves having similar conversations with two separate people this morning. Amazing, wonderful friends who are so aware of their own privilege and the space they take up that… Continue reading I Don’t Need Allies; I Need Comrades

Blog, Queerness

You Don’t Get to Feel Better

This is not the time to be silent. This is the time to stand with people. Stand, and know where you stand. This isn't the time for sitting on the fence. We are dying. It's that simple. We are dying every single fucking day. Which part of this do you not understand? Be outraged, yes.… Continue reading You Don’t Get to Feel Better

Blog, Kink, Queerness

Femme Erasure in the queer community

A few months ago, I published Are You Queer Enough?, which began a massive, complex line of dialogue that reaches so many facets of the queer community. There are so many aspects of queerness that I want to have dialogue about and trying to put them all into one post is overwhelming... I think writing… Continue reading Femme Erasure in the queer community

Blog, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Queerness

Grey-area relationships

This whole thing started because I was having a conversation with a…friend?- we play at events, and I have a love affair with their city, so we hang out when I come to town, have really good conversations, chill out, make out, whatever. We met a little over a year ago, and started talking outside… Continue reading Grey-area relationships

Blog, Creative Non-Fiction

Weekend Dreamers

In the brisk autumn air along the tourist strip, we sat outside the Champagne Bar celebrating Sarah's thirty-something birthday-I found myself wondering if they'd given her a free bottle of champagne even though her birthday wasn't until Sunday but I had never met a person who could refuse Sarah what she wanted-and as I sat… Continue reading Weekend Dreamers

Blog, Kink, Queerness

Are you queer enough?

“Are you going to the (queer mixer, queer dance party, queer pajama swap, etc.)?” I ask. “I’m not sure,” my friend says. “I’m not sure I’m queer enough to go.” I’ve had this conversation a lot lately, particularly with people who are cis-women. In response, I usually ask what “queer enough” means, and these are… Continue reading Are you queer enough?