Tool: (n) a device or implement…used to carry out a particular function A thing used in an occupation or pursuit (cited here) We talk a lot about tools for navigating different situations: tools for navigating mental health, tools for addressing social inequality, tools for setting good boundaries, and so forth. Tools are useful. They’re important. They… Continue reading Consent is a muscle, not a tool
Category: Blog
This is Where the Notebooks Go
Today I sat on my floor and looked around at the overwhelmingness of my living room and panicked. Dishes on the coffee table that were at least 5 days (if not a week) old, so old the fruit flies had either finally lost interest or drowned in their hunt for fermented mimosa. Most of… Continue reading This is Where the Notebooks Go
You Don’t Get to Feel Better
This is not the time to be silent. This is the time to stand with people. Stand, and know where you stand. This isn't the time for sitting on the fence. We are dying. It's that simple. We are dying every single fucking day. Which part of this do you not understand? Be outraged, yes.… Continue reading You Don’t Get to Feel Better
Bandaging the Invisible Wounds
As a child, I used to love Sailor Moon. My friends and I would go outside and pretend to be different characters, defeating villains, mentally transforming into hyper-sexualized teenage schoolgirls as we roamed the playground, playing Sailor Moon. One day, I was headed out the door and told my mother (as I had done many… Continue reading Bandaging the Invisible Wounds
Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage
This has been a strange week for me. Just as I started to get on a schedule with writing, drawing, and posting, there comes along the inevitable wrench in my well-laid plans. Which is all well, good, and fine... this particular wrench has the added benefit of giving me excellent writing fodder and deliciously beautiful… Continue reading Some rambling thoughts on relationship baggage
Facing the Call (bit by bit)
I am the child of a person ordained through Metropolitan Community Church, a denomination that began in the late 1960’s as a space for LGBTQ people to worship. It was a radical notion when it began, and I still have a lot of love and respect for MCC, but as I have grown older, I… Continue reading Facing the Call (bit by bit)
Femme Erasure in the queer community
A few months ago, I published Are You Queer Enough?, which began a massive, complex line of dialogue that reaches so many facets of the queer community. There are so many aspects of queerness that I want to have dialogue about and trying to put them all into one post is overwhelming... I think writing… Continue reading Femme Erasure in the queer community
You Don’t Have to Play Hard
I was at an event last weekend, where I had the immense pleasure to do some heavy impact with with two fantastic people who were willing to bottom for me. It was an amazing night: incredibly cathartic, fantastic energy, a beautiful transition from socializing to playing throughout the evening. There was also a really amazing… Continue reading You Don’t Have to Play Hard
Polycons: Navigating conferences within poly dynamics
Last weekend, I attended a kink convention on the east coast with my spouse. We’ve been to several events put on by this organization together, enough to begin to develop some understanding of how we interact (both as partners and individually) in the highly-sexualized space. As we were talking and decompressing after we got home,… Continue reading Polycons: Navigating conferences within poly dynamics
Biochemical responses to being hurt
I used to date this really amazing herbalist who would often explain the biochemical reasons for certain responses in the body. Many of these have stuck with me, but the one I think back on the most is the idea that we are biochemically addicted to things that make us sick. When we have a minor… Continue reading Biochemical responses to being hurt
Monomaniacism 