I don’t take language lightly. For all its flaws and limitations, the ways that we describe and name the things that matter to us is important. We will always miss the mark, at least a little. What you hear and what I say are not always the same thing. It’s the risk we take with… Continue reading Reconfiguring “Partner”
Category: Kink
In Shifting Dreams
I fell into sleep with the thought that if I ever claim the threshold of my own desires, it would be a fearsome thing to behold, and woke to the warmth of soft, gentle tears from the beauty of the echoing dreams. I fear what I want and I want what I fear. The crimson… Continue reading In Shifting Dreams
Getting What You Ask For (Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Getting What You Need)
For anyone that knows me, I am notoriously terrible at asking for the things that I want or need from other people. I’m so bad at it, people have created whole scenes for the express purpose of getting me to communicate desires. Part of the reason for this is because I am also notoriously terrible at knowingwhat I… Continue reading Getting What You Ask For (Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Getting What You Need)
Transitions and Transience
I folded myself over on the couch, burying my face into his warmth. “I don’t know how to want you right now,” I said, “but I do.” Transitions are inherently awkward and god, there have been so many lately. For someone who loves movement, the shifting, chaotic whirlwinds of change, it’s been hard to know… Continue reading Transitions and Transience
Better Standards
Maybe we all need to be held to better standards. All of us. Spoiler note: it is exhausting. And sometimes requires that we step away to focus. And it never ends. We get into this world, bright-eyed, excited, finally feeling like we have found our people, found where we belong. Some of us, anyway. I’m… Continue reading Better Standards
Tell Me
I want you to tell me. I don’t know who you are, or if you’re even real. If you exist, somewhere, in the world, in my world. I don’t care. I want you to tell me. Tell me it’s time. After hours of waiting and surges of wanting, its time. I can touch myself, but… Continue reading Tell Me
Fragments
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the beauty of people around me. I mean, sure. Aesthetically pleasing. But this, this is a different kind of beauty. The beauty of shadows and light. Complex expressions on the edge of sight. The way he bends. The way she turns her head. The way they smile, sleepily, curled up… Continue reading Fragments
Sex and Intimacy
Sex and intimacy have never been directly linked for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely find intimacy in sex, particularly with people that I feel very strongly connected to. But I have never needed sex to feel intimate and close with someone. As much of a sexual person as I am, sex has always felt… Continue reading Sex and Intimacy
Consent, Risk Assessment, and Responsibility
It would be really nice if consent were as black-and-white as I want it to be. But even in my own life, I recognize that that is not necessarily true. Example: Two people in an ongoing play/sometimes-sexual relationship decide to do a scene. One person is feeling a little off and not incredibly sexual, and communicate… Continue reading Consent, Risk Assessment, and Responsibility
Need
My body is craving sensation. Pain. I’m trying to remember the last time my body needed to ground down into pain. It’s not a bad feeling, exactly. It’s just disorienting. Like my skin doesn’t fit right and I need to writhe around inside of it. Like I need something that forces me to push against… Continue reading Need
Monomaniacism 