This whole thing started because I was having a conversation with a…friend?- we play at events, and I have a love affair with their city, so we hang out when I come to town, have really good conversations, chill out, make out, whatever. We met a little over a year ago, and started talking outside… Continue reading Grey-area relationships
Category: Blog
I love the things that are terrible for me
I keep thinking about how much I love the things that are terrible for me. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I want to cultivate the things in my life that are healthy, balanced, mutual, sustainable, stable, and minimally dramatic. That is, ultimately, my goal in most relationships and long-term dynamics. But let’s be real:… Continue reading I love the things that are terrible for me
Shit, I love you and you haven’t met my teddy bear
I spend a lot of time thinking about mental health and kink, partially because I’ve had to learn to navigate kink and being poly while coming to terms with some of the challenges presented by my own mental health. The short version of a very long story is that I am, most likely, somewhere on… Continue reading Shit, I love you and you haven’t met my teddy bear
Body Dysphoria
I don’t write about my own experience with Body Stuff very often. I hint at it, here and there because it’s a part of my insecurities, but I haven’t really written about how I experience life in my body. As a trans person, it’s easy to assume body dysphoria as it relates to gender. I… Continue reading Body Dysphoria
Flash
Content Warning: processing through the effects of repeated sexual harassment, trauma, and violence; explicit language I want you to fuck me. Why is that so difficult for me to say? I like sex. I like getting fucked. I like the way it feels, in my body, in that moment. It’s just sex. But it’s not,… Continue reading Flash
Lying to a Junkie
The payment screen on the metro card machine instructs me to dip my ATM card. Dip, like a child testing the temperature of water with their foot, invoking a deceptive smoothness to the instruction. My movements are anything but fluid and gentle. I shift my oversized camping backpack awkwardly, trying to reach for my wallet… Continue reading Lying to a Junkie
I (want to be) my own primary partner
There are a lot of different ways to do poly relationships. Every time I have a conversation with someone about playing or going on a date, we talk about poly dynamics. How they/I do poly, how they/I view it, what kinds of framework we are each working within. In many of these conversations, I have… Continue reading I (want to be) my own primary partner
Unclench
Prelude: The bathroom, January, 2015 My partner and I smoke in the bathroom during the winter. There are tricks to keeping the stale scent under control, but after a few weeks, we stop blowing smoke through the dryer filter and don't care whether the shower is on or not, and the towel is only haphazardly… Continue reading Unclench
Smokey’s
The name was a misnomer, leftover from a time when dingy, back-alley Southern bars gave you a contact buzz if you passed too close to the open door. In downtown Asheville, the old gay bar memorialized a generation of memories, the walls still infused with fifty years of tobacco stains and the lonely pickup lines… Continue reading Smokey’s
Weekend Dreamers
In the brisk autumn air along the tourist strip, we sat outside the Champagne Bar celebrating Sarah's thirty-something birthday-I found myself wondering if they'd given her a free bottle of champagne even though her birthday wasn't until Sunday but I had never met a person who could refuse Sarah what she wanted-and as I sat… Continue reading Weekend Dreamers
Monomaniacism 