The payment screen on the metro card machine instructs me to dip my ATM card. Dip, like a child testing the temperature of water with their foot, invoking a deceptive smoothness to the instruction. My movements are anything but fluid and gentle. I shift my oversized camping backpack awkwardly, trying to reach for my wallet… Continue reading Lying to a Junkie
There are a lot of different ways to do poly relationships. Every time I have a conversation with someone about playing or going on a date, we talk about poly dynamics. How they/I do poly, how they/I view it, what kinds of framework we are each working within. In many of these conversations, I have… Continue reading I (want to be) my own primary partner
Prelude: The bathroom, January, 2015 My partner and I smoke in the bathroom during the winter. There are tricks to keeping the stale scent under control, but after a few weeks, we stop blowing smoke through the dryer filter and don't care whether the shower is on or not, and the towel is only haphazardly… Continue reading Unclench
In the brisk autumn air along the tourist strip, we sat outside the Champagne Bar celebrating Sarah's thirty-something birthday-I found myself wondering if they'd given her a free bottle of champagne even though her birthday wasn't until Sunday but I had never met a person who could refuse Sarah what she wanted-and as I sat… Continue reading Weekend Dreamers
“Are you going to the (queer mixer, queer dance party, queer pajama swap, etc.)?” I ask. “I’m not sure,” my friend says. “I’m not sure I’m queer enough to go.” I’ve had this conversation a lot lately, particularly with people who are cis-women. In response, I usually ask what “queer enough” means, and these are… Continue reading Are you queer enough?
I remember the first time I ever read Stone Butch Blues. I was nine years old, full of awkward self-consciousness, and preferred the company of books to the company of other children. I was reading far beyond my reading level and liked to swipe my parents’ books from the bookshelf because the books aimed at… Continue reading Thunder and Yearning: Thoughts on the passing of Leslie Feinberg